|so0kie|

i feel so weak today.

i had the DR's at 930am, they did the CTscan and took about 9 tubes of blood, literally.
it got to the point where i nearly passed out and was clotting while they were still in my vein, so they had to repoke me twice.. bleh.

they said i should have the results of the blood scan by next Tuesday.
thats great, just in time for my surgery.. heh.

i feel like everything has been taken from me.. and i've just nothing left to give..

Davids advice worked, i didnt realize they were even drawing so much blood until they had to repoke me, then it all went to shit.. !@#!@#!@#

i hate being scared of whats to come, i hate knowing that there has to be something wrong, especially for me to be sick all the time and so exhausted and weak..

i hate fearing the future when i cant even live for today..

i feel so alone.

now i'm going back to being miserable and sore and doing my laundry..