mhm

i don't know how to explain how i feel and i honestly do not know if i want to even be bothered by trying..
i have had a lot of junk on my mind as of late, such as, where i'm headed, if i'm happy, where i'll be in 10 years from now..
will i have children? will i be married? will i be stable and secure?

i don't know why i'm contemplating all these things..
i feel like i'm in some sort of outer body experience..
i am not the type of person who thinks of such things..

i'm failing myself by conforming to a shell of someone who actually might be content.