|lies|

I dug my grave, so I shall lay in it. I'm well aware of the consequences. I chose the path, I traveled, I made the mistake.

In my heart, I always knew. I knew there was more than you led on, more than you promised, more than I was willing to let myself believe. I was blinded by the love I had for you and the late night talks of a future and children, how you told me that you could see it all with me. If only I knew then, you were laying out the same scheme with someone else, or atleast envisioning it.

I wanted to trust in your words, and believe the "we're just friends" speech. I wanted to let go of all my distrust and move forward, only ever lowering my wall for you. I wanted the future, the dream, the forever. But, you want your cake and to eat it too.

I know what I did was wrong. I know and I'm not proud. I hate myself for being that weak. But, you know what? I was right ALL along. I had reason to doubt, EVEN when you assured me I shouldnt, I know now, I was right too. You cant tell me anything that would make this less painful, that would make me believe you when you say you love me.

I'll never believe another word you speak. You can have her. Go.

I fucking hope she's everything you've ever wanted. I know I'm not.