Rant.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about things lately.
Like, where my life is headed, where I'm going to end up or how I'm going to end up, for that matter. What I want to accomplish, and where I see myself.

William and I have discussed the baby thing. It's been on ongoing discussion for a while now. I've been kind of discouraged since the incident, but I think that incident was what made me realize that it wouldnt have been such a bad thing, or an accident. It made me content in how I felt towards him and that he was willing to stand by me whatever the outcome. Lately, upon discussing it, it's like one minute we're waiting, the next not so much. One minute we're going with the flow and the next, planning our family. I like this. I like knowing he's behind me, with whatever comes our way. He makes me feel alive. He makes me feel stable. Most of all, he makes me feel as though everything makes sense.

People seem to like to get involved and advise me that I'm moving too fast and that I'll just end up hurt and upset. I don't understand how it's a possibility. I apparently don't see, what they are telling me that they see, or why they're so concerned that I'm being careful. I've never actually felt this secure in a relationship. So, maybe for me, that's a big deal.

I'm content right now. I want to spend my life with this man. I want to envision my future and all it's endeavors with him. Which in turn, makes me think long term potential and a family. I see nothing wrong with this.

IF you see a problem, you should keep it to yourself. I don't need you imposing on my happiness if YOU can't be happy for me. I'm quite content in my relationship. Enough to want to raise a family with him, enough to be secure in the fact that he does, in fact, love me and want the same.

So, this is me, telling you to keep your opinions to yourself. If things go sour, or if we fail, then it's on US, not you. I don't need "I told you so's" or any "You should have listened to me's". I'm doing this on my own, for me, for us.

Friends are there to help you and listen to you and offer advice or a shoulder. They are not there to try and sway your decisions. So before you start with your judgments and opinonted statements, think about where you are in that equation.

Now, after I've gotten that off my chest, I'm taking my bloated, crampy ass to the couch and I'm going to contemplate what I'll be naming my future child and anticipating Wednesday to arrive so I can spend the week with the man I love.

Later days.