....!

i want to say that i'm ok..
i know thats what you want to hear..

but inside, i'm not ok..
i'm not holding myself together well..
i'm feeling scattered and torn..
i feel empty when you're gone..
i cry myself to sleep because i'm alone..

i dont know how to piece together the words..
the ones that i want you to hear, but am too scared to speak..
the thoughts that hinder me from feeling completely content..

i am my own worst enemy..
i'll be the death of me..

even when i feel like i'm your everything..
i feel like i'm your greatest mistake..

i want to feel your arms around me..
i want your lips on mine..

at the same time, i want to be alone..
because i don't want to drag you down to my level..

i don't know whether to love you.. or let you go..