|tainted love|

tonight is one of those nights that no matter what someone says or how hard they try to assure you everything is ok and will be alright, you just cant see that silver lining..

i'm completely empty tonight, i've been empty for 3 days now.. i dont see this ending, actually, it's becoming a trend..

i dont want to get out of bed, i dont want to shower, i cant bring myself to really eat anything..
nothing matters, not like it used to, and everything seems to just leave me missing him more and more..

i know i did what i did for a reason, but it still doesnt mean i don't want him here, or i there, he completes me.. and it's hard knowing that your best friend is 3 thousand miles away.. especially when all you want to do is be there, in his arms, knowing that he wouldnt let any harm come to you.. he is my security blanket, my sun, my moon, and everything in between..

i never thought the day would come where i could honestly say that i trust in someone so much that i'd turn my life over to them, but i have.. i've found him, or he found me, whichever way it came about, it did for a reason..

someone knew i needed him in my life and now my life will never be the same..

unfortunately, having to deal with the whole missing him horribly thing is rough.. my eyes are on fire from crying numerous times throughout the day, especially in the morning and before bed.. my nose is raw.. my body has random shaking episodes.. i'm a mess..

i know he says it'll get better and we have no idea what tomorrow brings, i just keep hoping that tomorrow is one day closer to the next time i can curl up inside him and just breathe..